Having a “self-aware” moment can be very painful, especially if you think you are doing really well and going strong in the right direction. Then, out of the blue, an assessment long overdue suddenly comes up with some character issues that were flying low on the radar screen.
There is not much you can do except cry out to God to deliver you from yourself. First all from lying lips that deceived you the whole time and secondly, since it was the Holy Spirit playing a big part in revealing them, to have Him take a step back until I can recover.
It is incredible how much I feel that I have stepped away from God and to realize who I have become when I had not been looking. Worse feeling is finding myself comfortable in this new spot that I have rested in and finding out that this place hates peace. I am for peace, but what a shame to review my words – they were for war.