I finally found a Psalm that I can relate to – something I have gone through for some time and wondering what it is all about.
I have been very successful in fund-raising for Christian ministry for the past 30 years. Most of those 30 years were with two great ministries and they were probably great because they allowed me to work fund-raising as a ministry and they reaped the harvest that came with that.
However, my last three ministries have been rather difficult. I believe that many of them have taken me as a money machine who has contacts that they want me to use for their advantage and they have no consideration towards the relationships of those same said donors, other than wanting them to give.
Since I have not favoured them with that advantage, I feel like kicked around. They take great strides in pinning donkey’s ears on me or placing the dunce’s cap on me in very public settings.
Until this very moment, I have never admitted that to anyone, barely to myself – broken, flat on my face, reduced to nothing.
I always look for one friendly face, never actually find one. Still cannot find one shoulder to cry on.
In the past, I believe I would have prayed ill will towards them, not so much this time. This time I do believe God is working this in my life and even though it is a hard walk, He is showing me that He has not walked out on me.
I am hurt and in pain – so I ask God to give me space for healing and a place where I can walk and enjoy His creation.
These are the times where a song of praise lets me tell of His greatness in a prayer of thanks.
God is always better. In my many more moments of humility, I see, am glad and take heart.