I still remember the day I realized that the adults in my church were not expecting God to show up. It was a sad day that I ended up repeating this in my life as I experienced my mid-life crises in my early thirties.
There was no return back to that same passion that I had from my mid-teens to my mid-twenties until I reached my mid-forties. God was still there, waiting for me and I am always expecting Him to do something crazy, however, if truth be told, if He asked me to do something crazy today, there is a really good chance that I would say no. It makes me sad to admit it.
This year, as I travel this road that He has charted for me, He is really making my life count. He is calling me on a several fronts, challenging me. Psalms has become my reality count. I find myself thinking about all those people out there, and God keeps saying – no son, I am talking to you.
My life has to show people God is alive and well. I do not want myself as the poisonous gas that I had from my church in the days of my youth. When God sticks His head out of heaven and He looks around, my prayer is that He does not pass me by, that I might be that one man who is ready to serve Him, not ready to say no, but yes.
As I spend time fasting and listening, may I also be useful. My contract is up in a few weeks with the mission that I am with and I wonder what the next step is. Is it finally missionary time for me, living by faith, serving and giving, trusting in His supply?
Can I be shepherded – but by whom? I am still in a world where sheep are taking turns pretending as a shepherd. The ninety and nine following one. There are so many impostors. So many are getting the lingo down and its so hard to discern what foundation of their belief system – who is trying to deceive whom?
Lord, don’t let me get away with anything. Keep calling me out. I know that sometimes I can treat people just like a fast-food meal, but I pray that this takes place less often. May I pray for all those that you bring across this road I am travelling on and may I never be too busy to pray for them.