I believe I am a romantic at heart – I look at all the positives, very optimistic and see at the end of every road that I walk, charted for me by God, a rainbow.
Then this morning there was a jolt. What was the road like that Jesus walked on the last few days of His life?
Even His last breath declared that God had dumped Him, left him there on earth to die, doubled up in pain. No answer. Nothing. Pushing at the nail in His feet trying to pump some oxygen into His lungs that were filling fast with water.
You have heard it, right? When you have gone through trials of some kind, derision from those who do not believe in God say the same things the people around Jesus did that day to. All you have left is the memories of God being there for you all along, that the road had always been a good life until that very moment.
We call it depression, I think, when we start calling ourselves nothing but a worm, something to step on, to squash, poked at and made fun of – making faces, shaking their heads. With all your testimonies of God graciousness and kindness, His blessings and wonder – it comes back to haunt you now because you have come off rather spiritual and now they say, “Let’s see how God handles this one, since God likes him so much, let Him help him!” Sounds exactly what Jesus heard.
I believe more than anyone else that the moment I was born, God had His call on my life. I believe the same thing for both of my children that were born to my wife and I. But there are those days, as Jesus experienced, that God seemed to have just moved away, far away and trouble moved in next door instead.
For Jesus it must have been incredible pain. We think of the physical pain He experienced and it is easy to display. However, the emotional and spiritual pain is what I believe killed Him so soon, earlier than the other two beside Him.
When I experience anything like this in my walk, I know, Jesus did too. He will sustain me, prepare me, push me and if anything, I know deep down He will pick me up and carry me.